Shuso Letter, Winter Ango 2017-2018

 

Dear Sangha,

It is customary to express shock at being asked to be Shuso, but I confess that by the time the moment came, my fantasies had stolen from its freshness. Over the years my feelings about the job and the person embodying it included admiration, envy, gratitude, and terror as I imagined handling retreat details or Dharma Combat. So when Roshi asked, and it was real, I felt both ready and utterly daunted. I understood that it was time to step up, or step in, with all my flaws, and trust that whatever I do, barring a spectacular transgression, will be what is needed, will be enough.

Roshi has chosen a beautiful text for our Ango period: Dotoku, after which our temple is named—True Expression. I’d like to encourage you to investigate your true expression. Trust it, as I will try to do.

In part because of disability, my expression has always included adaptation. For our Ango, Roshi has allowed me to adapt the Commitment Form to an  Intention Form. Given how busy we are, I suggest that we clarify our intention rather than add commitments. When we are clear about what is most important, we can pour ourselves into it wholeheartedly.

Winter Sesshin is an excellent time to sit zazen and let it sift our priorities. In the dark and quiet, as we sit alone together, we can take a break from the ever beckoning glitter and sense the subtle enduring light.

I ask your forgiveness for the mistakes I am doomed to make. I hope that we can inspire and influence each other. When our myriad expressions collide and shift and bend and transform, we manifest the harmony of Sangha. Thank you for allowing me to serve!

With palms together, mind and body together, Sangha together,
Yuuka

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