Summer Ango 2018 Shuso Letter

 

Dear Sangha,

The first time I walked into the Village Zendo I felt strange. I was not sure if my body would fit into the Zen forms, and yet I wanted to immerse myself completely in practice.    

I remember the first time someone asked me to be Doan, a liturgical position responsible for lots of bell-ringing, I thought that’s a terrible idea. I was astonished by how much fear and shame arose at the prospect of simply ringing a bell. But it wasn’t really all that unfounded, was it? Haven’t you heard stories of old Zen masters, or senior monks shaming an adept for a ‘wrong’ move? Are we not practicing in the tradition of mythical figures like Bodhidharma who cut off his own eyelids and sat unmoving in a cave for 9 years? Isn’t our Zen the Zen of Huike whose sincerity was scorned until he cut off his own arm?

And yet. And yet haven’t our Zen elders shared their vulnerabilities with us, composed poems about the inexpressible sadness of loss? Aren’t our Zen elders also the gentle ones who merge with the wind and delight at cherry blossoms? Don’t they take out the garbage and take care of all sentient beings?

I walked into the Village Zendo unsure whom and what I could trust and found a refuge; a home for sincere and kind practice. I found a practice that stirs and settles a thousand questions, concerns, hopes and desires; and gave me a place, a method, and a community to explore these experiences.

When Roshi asked me if I would be able to serve as Shuso this summer I thought, I don’t know! Will I? I felt strange again. Happily unsettled; unsettled by the position and happy to lean into and renew the trust I have in our sangha and practice.

Wherever you are, will you join us in the wholehearted practice of peaceful dwelling (ango)?

In gassho,

Daishi

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