Welcome to our Blog
Feb. 11, 2010 - Posted by enkyoroshi in: Blog - 68 Comments
It’s winter here now
Overlooking the overlook
Leafless trees against the colorless sky.
All the warmth within.
You can see your breath.
What better way to recognize emptiness and form? Hoping this blog will bring us together intimately, where we can activate the way and truth of expression (the name of our temple, btw).
– Roshi

68 Responses to “Welcome to our Blog”
I listen
to those who say,
“confine you heart and your mind to now,
live with a moment’s passing and dying breath,
as the length and breadth
of your consciousness”
with past and future gone
I wonder what sensations are baying for entry to my ungenerous
experience,
if left alone, uncloistered
would there be a sudden burst of eclipsed sounds,
or better, silence
what new reality is behind the stifling curtain
of thoughts
the trembling and fearful self
a drop of water to enter the ocean
if allowed
that is the end of bondage
bred to a captivity of lies
my eyes are made for new daylight,
even at night,
the light of the moon
remembers the sun to me
By new moon on Mar 25, 2010
This frozen palate
Ferries frozen feet
Safely till spring’s sun
Melts it away
Then, maybe I’ll learn to swim..
Or just melt into the spring and sun!
By ZenRai on Apr 4, 2010
All thoughts of cold and ice
Now gone, with the blossoms.
As you say, spring and sun and
how we are swimming
through our lives makes sense,
today, finally.
I had tea with a friend the other day. She was full of the clarity and and logic of another path of Buddhism. She was so thrilled to find a system that ‘makes sense.’ And, happy as I was for her, I did again realize my delight with the Zen way of indirection, of imagery, and of the spaces between the words, the breath of intimacy.
By Roshi on Apr 6, 2010
Spring is flowing through this day,
Warblers are arriving from the South,
I saw a Cedar WaxWing couple this morning,
The male feeding the female, amidst the sounds
Of bikers whirring through the park,
Who can say, that was then, this is now?
By enkyoroshi on Apr 7, 2010
Courted by this evening’s scented breeze
Ping-ponged by eager peepers
Whirred along toads trills
A smiley crescent moon
Outwaits early apriil’s showering
(And first faint thunder)
Now fresh as washday this air
This breath
Only this
By ZenRai on Apr 8, 2010
Blossoms falling all over the ground,
Not a blossom fell, just our idea of ‘blossom’ and of ‘falling.’
We seek reality, and instead cover it with our words, our sentiment,
Our opinions and our fears.
Always anchored in the provisional.
Still, the streets are covered in a strange carpet
That swells my heart and slows me to a breath.
By enkyoroshi on Apr 9, 2010
I walked in the circle
behind a new student who truncated
the horseshoe path of steps
first here, then there
and I thought as I breathed
“he isn’t doing the whole circle…”
and I had to laugh inwardly
at my mind,
that focused on the number of steps taken
and not the path that led nowhere
By newmoon on Apr 12, 2010
the hum of the streets
evening talk soft, loud outside my open window
though the speakers seem sad, angry, joyful, chirping
there is beauty here, I think
the lights and sounds of cars, waves
doors open shut and open on cars
the buildings of downtown brick are full of a wonderful people
there is beauty here, I know it
on days such as these, let my busy mind melt
and see beauty, to know it
By newmoon on Apr 14, 2010
the frog perched on the green mossy root,
which bobs along a river’s course,
thinks himself quite a king!
“I look at this world parade itself in front of me,
while I, so profound,
remain entirely still.
humble though I am, it surely seems the world knows that I,
am truly special…”
but the housecat basking in the sun,
on the river’s bank
watches a hapless frog drifting towards whitewater.
He will jump,
the water will break and shimmer,
forced to give up his perch the frog will, again,
learn to swim.
By new moon on Apr 27, 2010
. . . learn to swim.
Do we ever learn to swim?
Or is it remembering
Amniotic fluid floating,
And even before, those ancient early days?
Dear green frog, glistening movement
In the reeds,
Teaching us the old way.
Hop! Out of the cat’s paw,
Into what flows on and on.
By Roshi on Apr 27, 2010
when my swimming becomes not-swimming
and my falling becomes not falling
then I’ll count myself a true follower
and not until that moment
which will not be a moment
at all
in my now, however
my knees ache, my stomach growls
and I’m wondering
By new moon on Apr 29, 2010
I wish I were frog
who does not think water, land
swimming to the shore
By new moon on Apr 29, 2010
It’s also in the jumping,
My long tongue with its deadly aim,
and yes, splashing,
don’t you think?
By Roshi on Apr 29, 2010
don’t I think,
I surely do think, it used to seem all there was,
the world became thoughts, acid and crude
I would ask whether my cup was half full,
or half empty,
or whether it runneth over,
now
I ask whether the coffee is in the cup
or is the cup in the coffee,
or…
or.
.
By new moon on Apr 30, 2010
or maybe…
maybe this is where words end…
the coffee is brown and rich,
the cup catches the light of the liquor stores red sign
and my window is open
By new moon on Apr 30, 2010
a buddha has no marks
no marks
By new moon on May 1, 2010
ahhh the rain wipes it all away,
again and again
the marks, erased, revealed, erased again,
what’s left, then?
that red reflection, the open window.
By Roshi on May 3, 2010
and maybe this is what remains
at the end of the day
on a bench in the park
watching
the river
reflecting the cold moon
she leans over and licks my face
and then barks at the biker riding by
it’s time to go home
By NS on May 7, 2010
Today’s there’s no sun,
misty clouds – I can touch them!
This home, always here.
By Roshi on May 8, 2010
so true
always here
how good to be reminded
of this
and yet…
sometimes I feel so homeless
like a “motherless day” child
but then suddenly this afternoon
a strong wind swept through Chelsea
and on the street
in it’s strong whirl
i felt embraced by the whole
world.
By NS on May 8, 2010
this morning
as i closed my door to leave for work
i realized how
as i leave and return
i am always there
in this body
i walk to the subway
cool spring wind on my face
welcome home
By Navah on May 10, 2010
When I return home,
it is a feeling, a solidness,
a rightness flowing through me
and everything is possible!
And that’s why I sit in the spring,
summer, fall, winter.
By Roshi on May 10, 2010
Two Poems
1
in this dewdrop world
teachings like blades of grass
(The bare branches sprout leaves blossom with fragrant flowers that wilt and fade then become pregnant and heavy with fruit which then fall and rot on the ground leaving them bare vulnerable shivering in the cold they snap shake until in the warming air fill up with leaves again)
in this field
she sits
steadfast, solid
clear
days turn into months
the student tries to sit there with her
but as the months turn into years
his shoulders turn weary, eyes bleary
legs give in
he falls face first
into the mud.
2
I wake up
wipe the dirt of my face
roll over
stretch my limbs on the ground
I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping
maybe she has dozed off a bit too
but here, right now
I vow to lie in this field with you
through all the seasons of the year.
By NS on May 10, 2010
and all seasons of my life.
By NS on May 10, 2010
what a goddamn relief to get to an end and find a beginning
no beginnings, no ends…oh but they’re there…oh but aren’t they
I say hello and pass along
so much to do, so much to learn,
remembering when I thought of love and hate as the only thing there was, deep down,
I laugh and pass along
I’ll do it till I die, in one way or another
life I mean
and then, who knows, my hearts spins a thousand dreams
and nightmares about that situation, that beginning-less endless beginning
flushing up like petals, like a burst of petals i’ve never seen
with these eyes, maybe
I’ll walk through, or maybe stand still
doesn’t matter, but it does
doesn’t it
By new moon on May 12, 2010
new moon
rising again this evening
illuminating
that place where the practice unfolds
somewhere where it both is
and is not, at the same time
i used to think that nothing mattered
but of course it did
when it affected me
i became a a rebel without a cause
and effect
blazing
ripping through the world
not caring much what i left behind
now i look back at these days
with a longing tinged with regret
i try to act that it does not matter anymore
the ways i felt so hurt and lonely in my own body
oh the beginning-less endless road
my body is not as sleek anymore
i can feel my thickening flesh
as i walk across the wooden floor
but i welcome my weight too
i feel more ancored
to the earth
more grounded
in the present moment
By NS on May 13, 2010
today I left my bed, which I rarely make
and hit the road,
to see my family, the first stop,
to see a dear friend
a stranger,
to hold hands with someone new,
a open-heart pursuit, once contingent, still contingent (but on what, oh my…what a question)
my viciousness spit on selfish love
but agape?
is now my arms and legs
so tender, so strong this sense
when I am dull I miss it like a mother misses her child,
and a child misses her mother
on a good day I might touch the sky
with the color of my heart and mind
damn, I’m in love with everything
even hate
a slow-burning energy, passionless,
now blue, green, deepest red
what can I say?
what can I say
By new moon on May 13, 2010
on the train, the tracks and car shudder
horribly, powerfully
looking outwards, where am I
I AM the sound, the cold air, my shirt against my skin,
smells tastes…OH!
no protection!
oh help!
where am I?!
oh help!
(look at the breath)
oh help!
oh
(…the breath)
help
.
.
.
I breathe into the mounting fear
only to find I was there all along
now shaking, pale as paper
somewhere between
.
you are a formless cutting edge
samadhi
I will hold you with respect
By new moon on May 13, 2010
oh, but it’s in that messy bed
that you can always return to
it’s good you rarely tighten those corners
it leaves you more room to breath
not everything needs to be neat
in a row
i miss sometimes the tibetan gompas of my youth
colorful flags waving, pillows scattered everywhere
thick incense and horns blaring
and while today the stillness of zafus and zabutons is my home
black straight lines of order feel sometimes
that they mask the chaos in my soul.
love hate fear calm red green life death
i look for separation where there is none.
there is so much beneath the surface
hair still grays in the roots
of the monk’s gleaming scalp
and across those rumpled sheets
a child returns to it’s mother
as it’s nature
searching for her breast
not missing perhaps
but seeking comfort.
we all need a little ease
lean back on that seat
follow that sun
or that moon
or that sun in the moon
and enjoy the ride.
By NS on May 14, 2010
tortoise-cat sits dozing
monk-like eyes, tilted downward
sudden thunder,
JUMP!
By new moon on May 15, 2010
flat, grey clouds,
the greens and blues stand out,
warming sun now – briefly
spring’s such a tease.
By Roshi on May 16, 2010
words simulate understanding so well
like a insect disguised as a leaf or a twig
but I am a hungry blue-jay
and I will find them out
they are fleet like a gazelle
beautiful, so beautiful I would hate to harm them
but I am a hungry lion,
and my cubs need to eat
they are the cry of someone faced with a road a million miles long
“i know this road is a million miles” he says, “no need to bother”
but I am a traveler, and seated front of this computer screen
I am walking, whether I like it or not
By new moon on May 16, 2010
I can’t do this alone,
whatever this is
though there is no alone, or together
the untethered world spins around me,
flows through me,
is me,
I keep looking for myself, and I find…
is this real?
can this be real?
am I dreaming?
one careless regard
and I am suddenly afraid at the vastness of the world
to be at peace…with this…is so hard
I need a teacher
but deep within is a distrust
of teachers of all types
of experience, my experience,
your experience
that is the deepest delusion thus far
and now that I have written this
I know what needs to be done
By new moon on May 16, 2010
yesterday
the 23rd street crosstown
bus lurched forward like an accordion snake
a mother voice called out
“kids, hold on to each other!”
if only they knew
how much they needed
to
By NS on May 17, 2010
is all relation
the buddhakṣetra, right now!
all is relation
By new moo on May 17, 2010
this week
the three poisons
threaten to overwhelm me
i want to annihilate all those who have abandoned me
and greedy for power, attention and recognition
i find myself feeling deskilled
empty and alone
when i was a child
i would often leave the crusts of my sandwich
not wanting to deal with the hard parts
and now
nothing much has changed
how do I practice with this
how?
By NS on May 18, 2010
the hardest thing I’ve experienced
and the most wonderful, perhaps
is how the worst of it
any sense of loss or displacement from
“where i should be right now”
…alive, vital, together, with it
or even the best of feelings, the most illuminating and powerful
those days when everyone wants to love you because you’re so goddamn fantastic!
is a illusion,
and is a gateway
is reality
it just is
can’t find anywhere to hide in delusion, when you see what it is
you can’t go back,
well I guess you could try
but that would be a very unsatisfying venture, I think
since there is no back to which to go
even the word “now” is irresponsible to cling to
“lets be present!”
“ok I’m going to be present……..now!”
oops, missed it
but going forward is just as lost
kensho? is that where it was supposed to be at
show it to me again and again!
kensho seems as dependent as anything else
everything is individual, kensho
everything is relative, kensho
“when the myriad things come out at illuminate us….”
said Dogen
where is my halo? where is it today?
I experience life, pain still wracks my body, sadness still sweeps
lonliness, regret
through me
and yet, there is strength? available to everything
to every one,
to all of us,
that makes all this cosmic bitching we do a little more
comedic
not to be taken to seriously,
and like a joke
theses pain and hurt and angry thoughts
the more intense these absudities,
the harder, deeper I can laugh
and a kind of laughter rings through all of me
and I can accept any defeat
in my heart
now I wish to take it easy
and burn slow
I’m so tired of my games
I could cry so good, honest tears
but I’m too tough for that
aren’t I?
“Down by the salley gardens my love and I did meet;
She passed the salley gardens with little snow-white feet.
She bid me take love easy, as the leaves grow on the tree;
But I, being young and foolish, with her did not agree.
In a field by the river my love and I did stand,
And on my leaning shoulder she laid her snow-white hand.
She bid me take life easy, as the grass grows on the weirs;
But I was young and foolish, and now am full of tears.”
W.B. Yeats
By new moon on May 18, 2010
I apologize for all those typos
By new moon on May 18, 2010
gassho, NM.
By NS on May 19, 2010
I don’t believe a word I say,
like Myoko-Sensei said on a sunday morning,
“each time you reach for the ocean,
all you come back with is a handful of water,
the ocean shines on, the handful of water shines on”
By NM on May 21, 2010
These days it is the sparrows
that fascinate me, thrill me,
their voices, their tiny brown and white bodies.
And of course, the ordinary robin’s song.
Ahhh, what is it?
By Roshi on May 21, 2010
roshi,
like the sparrows
get some sleep
you must get up and sing
early next morning!
this is what it is i think-
they sing their love
or maybe out of habit
but either way
they are
alive
By NS on May 21, 2010
sometimes I fear
i have become so open
that i will crack
and the yolk will slither
out
i will lose
the self
i have clung to for so long
behind the shell
that is slowly being chipped away
from both inside and out.
the intimacy of this scares me.
i vow to be ok
with being afraid
i did so much to avoid fear
i ran from all those places where i had to
face
myself
how i wish to enter those endless gates
By NS on May 23, 2010
I gave a friend something today
that only time and long rest can return
I hope they enjoy it
and knows that I love them
we knew love
as children
whole days in harmony walking the woods
just dreams
they turned into a right bastard over the years
so did I
hard times, misunderstanding,
fear and ….
whatever you want to call it
whatever name it holds for you
deep shit
that
is hard on us all with its thousand weapons
he took something very special from me
someone
one of my oldest wounds
but today I bow and give thanks to him
for reopening that which could not heal
so that it can
thank you David,
thank you mother, father, brother
enemy, friend, cat, dog,
trees, street,
potato and poblano peppers
goodnight
By new moon on May 23, 2010
to Roshi:
I want to be your student because,
when I hear you
there are no glancing cognitive blows
and no reckonings
I can trust your overstanding, I think
and it re-son-ates,
deep down
so that I don’t even “hear it”
I don’t go in for games, or ego tricks
(but of course I do, when I’m tired or sick)
you’ll see me around,
I’m getting
less
shy
By new moon on May 24, 2010
it sounds like
you are a student already
welcome home.
By NS on May 26, 2010
when i return home from my journey
she is so excited
and dances around the hallway carpet
jumps up and down
and licks my face
how i wish i could celebrate every moment of my life
in this way
muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
what buddha nature my dog has
and how she awakens me
to notice my own.
By NS on Jun 1, 2010
Is there time
to watch the cormorant
dry her wings on the stump
in the river that
flows both ways?
By enkyoroshi on Jun 1, 2010
the black cormorant,
slick like oil dove below the Chelsea piers
old blackened posts
water light like shivering melted glass
so fast, so slow
up she came, and
minutes passed
as we we two waited,
me and her
where had she gone?
she came up in the exactly same place
that she dove
what a strange kind of joy
I made a thousand vows today,
one after the other,
I swore to lock it down,
in these hard times of my mind,
to figure it out,
I’m glad I broke these thousand vows
that I made today
one after the other
By nm on Jun 2, 2010
When
In the shadow of this moment
We talk
I find further wonder
In how
Nothing I know
And how
Everything I feel
By shoin on Jun 4, 2010
i know you secretly read this
so i embed here a birthday wish for you
your life is one big teaching
of appreciating
everything
you were born in a time of great trauma
but conceived with such love
brought to safety in your mother’s womb
this is still you legacy:
compassion, atonement, berlin, youthful aging
and so much more
thank you
for all that you notice
with such boundless joy
may you sit on that veranda
watching
for many cold moons
the speckled bananas
the vendors
the change
all those you love
as beloved as you are
to us all
By Navah on Jun 5, 2010
[dream in the park]
teachers
teach students to be teachers
students teach students
to be students [and teachers]
students teach teachers . to be teachers and to be
students
[and all together] I’ve typed the word each so many times now, its phonemes have lost all meaning
and guess what
I have a sneaking suspicion
I’m
teaching myself right now
but what is
this
teaching
[ right now} what
is its start and its end??
is it all about?..?
check it out.
By nm on Jun 7, 2010
what is buddha?
a fire god seeking fire
can we seek the fire, buddha, alone?
even if we have all the answers we need
or do we need that connection
to a sangha and teacher?
your latest post nm, made me think about
Roshi’s latest podcast on Intimacy.
if you did not listen to that
check it out.
By NS on Jun 7, 2010
I think the truly arrogant
feel the necessity of interconnection
with the love and support
of other living being
and it hurts him
destroys him
that he has to bow down to others, to be with them and receive their hurt and love,
equally
taking
taking
he makes the beauty of love into consumption
an angry fix
what a waste,
he sets the world on fire
his eyes burn
his ears burn
his mind and consciousness burn
will destroy him and
his precious
vanity
people (myself included) who think they get it, need more help than anyone I know
By wks218@nyu.edu on Jun 9, 2010
” Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God. “
By wks218@nyu.edu on Jun 9, 2010
on our walk she takes in
the entire world
through her nose
i watch
her practice
no separation
By NS on Jun 13, 2010
my heart turns inside out
the blood
drains
out of my face
when I hear your voice on the phone
Moving
Moving
this is the koan i get wrong
over and over again
when i ask you to stay
when i want you
not to change.
By NS on Jun 16, 2010
watching a pbs documentary on the mentally ill
in state prisons
with demons ten thousand times the strength of mine
lock in
unpadded rooms
for 30 years,
alone with them
jesus christ
how can I be happy now
how can I try to attain equanimity knowing
this now
hearing screams like that
hm?
now I’m going to a yoga class
I’ve been spared those depths of madness
poverty, fear, abuse
now what…
By nm on Jun 16, 2010
Years ago I read in “The heart of Understanding”
by Thich Nhat Hanh
something like
“when I bow to the altar, I am
bowing to myself”
and I thought
angrily
this is some feel-good nonsense
but maybe I see now
when I bow,
I am bowing to myself
I’m am bowing to what is not myself
I am the whole world bowing
I’m bowing
and no part of this world bows
without my help
and that’s all there is
pretty much
from there I can
cast off
If the self that read that passage could see me now
as I bow
to “feel-good nonsense”
By nm on Jun 20, 2010
bicycle clicks from wall rack
falls, strikes my head and I’m down
stars
got the grip, not the spike of the gears
not the metal pedal claw
I’m alive
that was close
be careful everyone…
By nm on Jun 20, 2010
talk talk talk, in the library
I’m sitting right here, ladies, book in hand
you don’t know I have an exam,
you don’t even see me
I appreciate my anger
for what it is
roots dissolve
By nm on Jun 23, 2010
dying
moment to moment
is a such graceful
subtle
art
By nm on Jun 27, 2010
my cat went to the vet today
taken from the lap of luxury, napping on the couch
poked and prodded
handled by people he didn’t know
jabbed with needles
poor cat
he came back looking as pretty beat up
pretty upset with the whole deal
of being a cat
its ok, Ginger
let’s have a bad day together
By nm on Jul 8, 2010
With my family
is a good place to discover who I am
and as my notion of family
becomes ever more
and my notion of self….
well
I have them to ground me
as my breath enters my lungs
my heart opens
and my hears hear the words of my brother
father, and mother
who brought me here
to this life
By nm on Jul 9, 2010
I don’t know
By nm on Jul 9, 2010
The hand that holds the
yoked oxen,
unruly and strong,
becomes tired
and that tiredness
fatigues the land the farmer
tills,
the heart and mind
in the gentlest way you know
let it fall to your side
farmer?
let it fall
By nm on Jul 12, 2010
when I sit
I sometimes imagine that I am alone
stupid!
In new york city
do I imagine I am alone?
or in our greatest possible
opportunity for love, compassion and joy
to just spread like beautiful static
zapping along a vast circuit-board
aching for
connection
I know I am
flowers in season
bloom together
don’t Buddhas do the same?
By nm on Jul 13, 2010
To the Sangha,
out there in the peaceful
wide open
thank you for existing
and being a place of refuge
for those willing to open themselves up
to the possibility of
a new kind of community
thank you
By nm on Jul 13, 2010