Welcome to our Blog

Feb. 11, 2010 - Posted by enkyoroshi in: Blog - 68 Comments

It’s winter here now
Overlooking the overlook
Leafless trees against the colorless sky.
All the warmth within.
You can see your breath.

What better way to recognize emptiness and form? Hoping this blog will bring us together intimately, where we can activate the way and truth of expression (the name of our temple, btw).
– Roshi


  1. 68 Responses to “Welcome to our Blog”

  2. I listen
    to those who say,
    “confine you heart and your mind to now,
    live with a moment’s passing and dying breath,
    as the length and breadth
    of your consciousness”

    with past and future gone
    I wonder what sensations are baying for entry to my ungenerous
    experience,
    if left alone, uncloistered
    would there be a sudden burst of eclipsed sounds,
    or better, silence
    what new reality is behind the stifling curtain
    of thoughts
    the trembling and fearful self
    a drop of water to enter the ocean
    if allowed

    that is the end of bondage
    bred to a captivity of lies
    my eyes are made for new daylight,
    even at night,
    the light of the moon
    remembers the sun to me

    By new moon on Mar 25, 2010

  3. This frozen palate
    Ferries frozen feet
    Safely till spring’s sun
    Melts it away
    Then, maybe I’ll learn to swim..
    Or just melt into the spring and sun!

    By ZenRai on Apr 4, 2010

  4. All thoughts of cold and ice
    Now gone, with the blossoms.
    As you say, spring and sun and
    how we are swimming
    through our lives makes sense,
    today, finally.

    I had tea with a friend the other day. She was full of the clarity and and logic of another path of Buddhism. She was so thrilled to find a system that ‘makes sense.’ And, happy as I was for her, I did again realize my delight with the Zen way of indirection, of imagery, and of the spaces between the words, the breath of intimacy.

    By Roshi on Apr 6, 2010

  5. Spring is flowing through this day,
    Warblers are arriving from the South,
    I saw a Cedar WaxWing couple this morning,
    The male feeding the female, amidst the sounds
    Of bikers whirring through the park,
    Who can say, that was then, this is now?

    By enkyoroshi on Apr 7, 2010

  6. Courted by this evening’s scented breeze
    Ping-ponged by eager peepers
    Whirred along toads trills

    A smiley crescent moon
    Outwaits early apriil’s showering
    (And first faint thunder)

    Now fresh as washday this air
    This breath

    Only this

    By ZenRai on Apr 8, 2010

  7. Blossoms falling all over the ground,
    Not a blossom fell, just our idea of ‘blossom’ and of ‘falling.’
    We seek reality, and instead cover it with our words, our sentiment,
    Our opinions and our fears.
    Always anchored in the provisional.
    Still, the streets are covered in a strange carpet
    That swells my heart and slows me to a breath.

    By enkyoroshi on Apr 9, 2010

  8. I walked in the circle
    behind a new student who truncated
    the horseshoe path of steps
    first here, then there
    and I thought as I breathed
    “he isn’t doing the whole circle…”

    and I had to laugh inwardly
    at my mind,
    that focused on the number of steps taken
    and not the path that led nowhere

    By newmoon on Apr 12, 2010

  9. the hum of the streets
    evening talk soft, loud outside my open window
    though the speakers seem sad, angry, joyful, chirping
    there is beauty here, I think

    the lights and sounds of cars, waves
    doors open shut and open on cars
    the buildings of downtown brick are full of a wonderful people
    there is beauty here, I know it

    on days such as these, let my busy mind melt
    and see beauty, to know it

    By newmoon on Apr 14, 2010

  10. the frog perched on the green mossy root,
    which bobs along a river’s course,
    thinks himself quite a king!

    “I look at this world parade itself in front of me,
    while I, so profound,
    remain entirely still.
    humble though I am, it surely seems the world knows that I,
    am truly special…”

    but the housecat basking in the sun,
    on the river’s bank
    watches a hapless frog drifting towards whitewater.

    He will jump,
    the water will break and shimmer,
    forced to give up his perch the frog will, again,
    learn to swim.

    By new moon on Apr 27, 2010

  11. . . . learn to swim.
    Do we ever learn to swim?
    Or is it remembering
    Amniotic fluid floating,
    And even before, those ancient early days?

    Dear green frog, glistening movement
    In the reeds,
    Teaching us the old way.
    Hop! Out of the cat’s paw,
    Into what flows on and on.

    By Roshi on Apr 27, 2010

  12. when my swimming becomes not-swimming
    and my falling becomes not falling
    then I’ll count myself a true follower
    and not until that moment
    which will not be a moment
    at all

    in my now, however
    my knees ache, my stomach growls
    and I’m wondering

    By new moon on Apr 29, 2010

  13. I wish I were frog
    who does not think water, land
    swimming to the shore

    By new moon on Apr 29, 2010

  14. It’s also in the jumping,
    My long tongue with its deadly aim,
    and yes, splashing,
    don’t you think?

    By Roshi on Apr 29, 2010

  15. don’t I think,
    I surely do think, it used to seem all there was,
    the world became thoughts, acid and crude

    I would ask whether my cup was half full,
    or half empty,
    or whether it runneth over,
    now

    I ask whether the coffee is in the cup
    or is the cup in the coffee,
    or…
    or.
    .

    By new moon on Apr 30, 2010

  16. or maybe…
    maybe this is where words end…

    the coffee is brown and rich,
    the cup catches the light of the liquor stores red sign
    and my window is open

    By new moon on Apr 30, 2010

  17. a buddha has no marks
    no marks

    By new moon on May 1, 2010

  18. ahhh the rain wipes it all away,
    again and again
    the marks, erased, revealed, erased again,
    what’s left, then?
    that red reflection, the open window.

    By Roshi on May 3, 2010

  19. and maybe this is what remains
    at the end of the day
    on a bench in the park
    watching
    the river
    reflecting the cold moon
    she leans over and licks my face
    and then barks at the biker riding by
    it’s time to go home

    By NS on May 7, 2010

  20. Today’s there’s no sun,
    misty clouds – I can touch them!
    This home, always here.

    By Roshi on May 8, 2010

  21. so true
    always here
    how good to be reminded
    of this
    and yet…

    sometimes I feel so homeless
    like a “motherless day” child

    but then suddenly this afternoon
    a strong wind swept through Chelsea
    and on the street
    in it’s strong whirl
    i felt embraced by the whole
    world.

    By NS on May 8, 2010

  22. this morning
    as i closed my door to leave for work
    i realized how
    as i leave and return
    i am always there
    in this body
    i walk to the subway
    cool spring wind on my face
    welcome home

    By Navah on May 10, 2010

  23. When I return home,
    it is a feeling, a solidness,
    a rightness flowing through me
    and everything is possible!
    And that’s why I sit in the spring,
    summer, fall, winter.

    By Roshi on May 10, 2010

  24. Two Poems

    1

    in this dewdrop world
    teachings like blades of grass

    (The bare branches sprout leaves blossom with fragrant flowers that wilt and fade then become pregnant and heavy with fruit which then fall and rot on the ground leaving them bare vulnerable shivering in the cold they snap shake until in the warming air fill up with leaves again)

    in this field
    she sits
    steadfast, solid
    clear

    days turn into months
    the student tries to sit there with her
    but as the months turn into years
    his shoulders turn weary, eyes bleary
    legs give in
    he falls face first
    into the mud.

    2

    I wake up
    wipe the dirt of my face
    roll over
    stretch my limbs on the ground
    I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping
    maybe she has dozed off a bit too

    but here, right now

    I vow to lie in this field with you
    through all the seasons of the year.

    By NS on May 10, 2010

  25. and all seasons of my life.

    By NS on May 10, 2010

  26. what a goddamn relief to get to an end and find a beginning
    no beginnings, no ends…oh but they’re there…oh but aren’t they
    I say hello and pass along
    so much to do, so much to learn,
    remembering when I thought of love and hate as the only thing there was, deep down,
    I laugh and pass along
    I’ll do it till I die, in one way or another
    life I mean
    and then, who knows, my hearts spins a thousand dreams
    and nightmares about that situation, that beginning-less endless beginning
    flushing up like petals, like a burst of petals i’ve never seen
    with these eyes, maybe
    I’ll walk through, or maybe stand still
    doesn’t matter, but it does
    doesn’t it

    By new moon on May 12, 2010

  27. new moon
    rising again this evening
    illuminating
    that place where the practice unfolds
    somewhere where it both is
    and is not, at the same time

    i used to think that nothing mattered
    but of course it did
    when it affected me
    i became a a rebel without a cause
    and effect
    blazing
    ripping through the world
    not caring much what i left behind
    now i look back at these days
    with a longing tinged with regret
    i try to act that it does not matter anymore
    the ways i felt so hurt and lonely in my own body

    oh the beginning-less endless road
    my body is not as sleek anymore
    i can feel my thickening flesh
    as i walk across the wooden floor
    but i welcome my weight too
    i feel more ancored
    to the earth
    more grounded
    in the present moment

    By NS on May 13, 2010

  28. today I left my bed, which I rarely make
    and hit the road,
    to see my family, the first stop,
    to see a dear friend
    a stranger,
    to hold hands with someone new,
    a open-heart pursuit, once contingent, still contingent (but on what, oh my…what a question)
    my viciousness spit on selfish love
    but agape?
    is now my arms and legs
    so tender, so strong this sense
    when I am dull I miss it like a mother misses her child,
    and a child misses her mother
    on a good day I might touch the sky
    with the color of my heart and mind
    damn, I’m in love with everything
    even hate
    a slow-burning energy, passionless,
    now blue, green, deepest red
    what can I say?
    what can I say

    By new moon on May 13, 2010

  29. on the train, the tracks and car shudder
    horribly, powerfully
    looking outwards, where am I
    I AM the sound, the cold air, my shirt against my skin,
    smells tastes…OH!
    no protection!
    oh help!
    where am I?!
    oh help!
    (look at the breath)
    oh help!
    oh
    (…the breath)
    help
    .
    .
    .
    I breathe into the mounting fear
    only to find I was there all along
    now shaking, pale as paper
    somewhere between
    .
    you are a formless cutting edge
    samadhi
    I will hold you with respect

    By new moon on May 13, 2010

  30. oh, but it’s in that messy bed
    that you can always return to
    it’s good you rarely tighten those corners
    it leaves you more room to breath
    not everything needs to be neat
    in a row
    i miss sometimes the tibetan gompas of my youth
    colorful flags waving, pillows scattered everywhere
    thick incense and horns blaring
    and while today the stillness of zafus and zabutons is my home
    black straight lines of order feel sometimes
    that they mask the chaos in my soul.

    love hate fear calm red green life death
    i look for separation where there is none.

    there is so much beneath the surface
    hair still grays in the roots
    of the monk’s gleaming scalp
    and across those rumpled sheets
    a child returns to it’s mother
    as it’s nature
    searching for her breast
    not missing perhaps
    but seeking comfort.
    we all need a little ease
    lean back on that seat
    follow that sun
    or that moon
    or that sun in the moon
    and enjoy the ride.

    By NS on May 14, 2010

  31. tortoise-cat sits dozing
    monk-like eyes, tilted downward
    sudden thunder,

    JUMP!

    By new moon on May 15, 2010

  32. flat, grey clouds,
    the greens and blues stand out,
    warming sun now – briefly
    spring’s such a tease.

    By Roshi on May 16, 2010

  33. words simulate understanding so well
    like a insect disguised as a leaf or a twig
    but I am a hungry blue-jay
    and I will find them out

    they are fleet like a gazelle
    beautiful, so beautiful I would hate to harm them
    but I am a hungry lion,
    and my cubs need to eat

    they are the cry of someone faced with a road a million miles long
    “i know this road is a million miles” he says, “no need to bother”
    but I am a traveler, and seated front of this computer screen
    I am walking, whether I like it or not

    By new moon on May 16, 2010

  34. I can’t do this alone,
    whatever this is
    though there is no alone, or together
    the untethered world spins around me,
    flows through me,
    is me,
    I keep looking for myself, and I find…
    is this real?
    can this be real?
    am I dreaming?
    one careless regard
    and I am suddenly afraid at the vastness of the world
    to be at peace…with this…is so hard
    I need a teacher
    but deep within is a distrust
    of teachers of all types
    of experience, my experience,
    your experience
    that is the deepest delusion thus far
    and now that I have written this
    I know what needs to be done

    By new moon on May 16, 2010

  35. yesterday
    the 23rd street crosstown
    bus lurched forward like an accordion snake
    a mother voice called out
    “kids, hold on to each other!”
    if only they knew
    how much they needed
    to

    By NS on May 17, 2010

  36. is all relation
    the buddhakṣetra, right now!
    all is relation

    By new moo on May 17, 2010

  37. this week
    the three poisons
    threaten to overwhelm me
    i want to annihilate all those who have abandoned me
    and greedy for power, attention and recognition
    i find myself feeling deskilled
    empty and alone
    when i was a child
    i would often leave the crusts of my sandwich
    not wanting to deal with the hard parts
    and now
    nothing much has changed
    how do I practice with this
    how?

    By NS on May 18, 2010

  38. the hardest thing I’ve experienced
    and the most wonderful, perhaps
    is how the worst of it
    any sense of loss or displacement from
    “where i should be right now”
    …alive, vital, together, with it
    or even the best of feelings, the most illuminating and powerful
    those days when everyone wants to love you because you’re so goddamn fantastic!
    is a illusion,
    and is a gateway
    is reality
    it just is

    can’t find anywhere to hide in delusion, when you see what it is
    you can’t go back,
    well I guess you could try
    but that would be a very unsatisfying venture, I think
    since there is no back to which to go
    even the word “now” is irresponsible to cling to
    “lets be present!”
    “ok I’m going to be present……..now!”
    oops, missed it

    but going forward is just as lost
    kensho? is that where it was supposed to be at
    show it to me again and again!
    kensho seems as dependent as anything else
    everything is individual, kensho
    everything is relative, kensho

    “when the myriad things come out at illuminate us….”
    said Dogen

    where is my halo? where is it today?
    I experience life, pain still wracks my body, sadness still sweeps
    lonliness, regret
    through me

    and yet, there is strength? available to everything
    to every one,
    to all of us,
    that makes all this cosmic bitching we do a little more
    comedic
    not to be taken to seriously,
    and like a joke
    theses pain and hurt and angry thoughts
    the more intense these absudities,
    the harder, deeper I can laugh
    and a kind of laughter rings through all of me
    and I can accept any defeat
    in my heart

    now I wish to take it easy
    and burn slow
    I’m so tired of my games
    I could cry so good, honest tears
    but I’m too tough for that
    aren’t I?

    “Down by the salley gardens my love and I did meet;
    She passed the salley gardens with little snow-white feet.
    She bid me take love easy, as the leaves grow on the tree;
    But I, being young and foolish, with her did not agree.

    In a field by the river my love and I did stand,
    And on my leaning shoulder she laid her snow-white hand.
    She bid me take life easy, as the grass grows on the weirs;
    But I was young and foolish, and now am full of tears.”

    W.B. Yeats

    By new moon on May 18, 2010

  39. I apologize for all those typos

    By new moon on May 18, 2010

  40. gassho, NM.

    By NS on May 19, 2010

  41. I don’t believe a word I say,
    like Myoko-Sensei said on a sunday morning,
    “each time you reach for the ocean,
    all you come back with is a handful of water,
    the ocean shines on, the handful of water shines on”

    By NM on May 21, 2010

  42. These days it is the sparrows
    that fascinate me, thrill me,
    their voices, their tiny brown and white bodies.
    And of course, the ordinary robin’s song.
    Ahhh, what is it?

    By Roshi on May 21, 2010

  43. roshi,
    like the sparrows
    get some sleep
    you must get up and sing
    early next morning!

    this is what it is i think-
    they sing their love
    or maybe out of habit
    but either way
    they are
    alive

    By NS on May 21, 2010

  44. sometimes I fear
    i have become so open
    that i will crack
    and the yolk will slither
    out
    i will lose
    the self
    i have clung to for so long
    behind the shell
    that is slowly being chipped away
    from both inside and out.

    the intimacy of this scares me.
    i vow to be ok
    with being afraid
    i did so much to avoid fear
    i ran from all those places where i had to
    face
    myself

    how i wish to enter those endless gates

    By NS on May 23, 2010

  45. I gave a friend something today
    that only time and long rest can return
    I hope they enjoy it
    and knows that I love them

    we knew love
    as children
    whole days in harmony walking the woods
    just dreams

    they turned into a right bastard over the years
    so did I
    hard times, misunderstanding,
    fear and ….
    whatever you want to call it
    whatever name it holds for you
    deep shit
    that
    is hard on us all with its thousand weapons

    he took something very special from me
    someone
    one of my oldest wounds
    but today I bow and give thanks to him
    for reopening that which could not heal
    so that it can

    thank you David,
    thank you mother, father, brother
    enemy, friend, cat, dog,
    trees, street,
    potato and poblano peppers

    goodnight

    By new moon on May 23, 2010

  46. to Roshi:

    I want to be your student because,
    when I hear you
    there are no glancing cognitive blows
    and no reckonings
    I can trust your overstanding, I think
    and it re-son-ates,
    deep down
    so that I don’t even “hear it”
    I don’t go in for games, or ego tricks
    (but of course I do, when I’m tired or sick)
    you’ll see me around,
    I’m getting
    less
    shy

    By new moon on May 24, 2010

  47. it sounds like
    you are a student already

    welcome home.

    By NS on May 26, 2010

  48. when i return home from my journey
    she is so excited
    and dances around the hallway carpet
    jumps up and down
    and licks my face
    how i wish i could celebrate every moment of my life
    in this way
    muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
    what buddha nature my dog has
    and how she awakens me
    to notice my own.

    By NS on Jun 1, 2010

  49. Is there time
    to watch the cormorant
    dry her wings on the stump
    in the river that
    flows both ways?

    By enkyoroshi on Jun 1, 2010

  50. the black cormorant,
    slick like oil dove below the Chelsea piers
    old blackened posts
    water light like shivering melted glass
    so fast, so slow
    up she came, and
    minutes passed
    as we we two waited,
    me and her
    where had she gone?
    she came up in the exactly same place
    that she dove

    what a strange kind of joy

    I made a thousand vows today,
    one after the other,
    I swore to lock it down,
    in these hard times of my mind,
    to figure it out,
    I’m glad I broke these thousand vows
    that I made today
    one after the other

    By nm on Jun 2, 2010

  51. When
    In the shadow of this moment
    We talk
    I find further wonder
    In how
    Nothing I know
    And how
    Everything I feel

    By shoin on Jun 4, 2010

  52. i know you secretly read this
    so i embed here a birthday wish for you
    your life is one big teaching
    of appreciating
    everything
    you were born in a time of great trauma
    but conceived with such love
    brought to safety in your mother’s womb
    this is still you legacy:
    compassion, atonement, berlin, youthful aging
    and so much more

    thank you
    for all that you notice
    with such boundless joy
    may you sit on that veranda
    watching
    for many cold moons
    the speckled bananas
    the vendors
    the change
    all those you love
    as beloved as you are
    to us all

    By Navah on Jun 5, 2010

  53. [dream in the park]

    teachers
    teach students to be teachers
    students teach students
    to be students [and teachers]
    students teach teachers . to be teachers and to be
    students

    [and all together] I’ve typed the word each so many times now, its phonemes have lost all meaning

    and guess what
    I have a sneaking suspicion
    I’m
    teaching myself right now
    but what is
    this
    teaching
    [ right now} what
    is its start and its end??
    is it all about?..?

    check it out.

    By nm on Jun 7, 2010

  54. what is buddha?
    a fire god seeking fire

    can we seek the fire, buddha, alone?
    even if we have all the answers we need
    or do we need that connection
    to a sangha and teacher?

    your latest post nm, made me think about
    Roshi’s latest podcast on Intimacy.
    if you did not listen to that

    check it out.

    By NS on Jun 7, 2010

  55. I think the truly arrogant
    feel the necessity of interconnection
    with the love and support
    of other living being
    and it hurts him
    destroys him
    that he has to bow down to others, to be with them and receive their hurt and love,
    equally
    taking
    taking
    he makes the beauty of love into consumption
    an angry fix
    what a waste,
    he sets the world on fire
    his eyes burn
    his ears burn
    his mind and consciousness burn
    will destroy him and
    his precious
    vanity

    people (myself included) who think they get it, need more help than anyone I know

    By wks218@nyu.edu on Jun 9, 2010

  56. ” Blessed are the meek,
    for they shall inherit the earth.
    Blessed are the merciful,
    for they shall obtain mercy.
    Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they shall be called children of God. “

    By wks218@nyu.edu on Jun 9, 2010

  57. on our walk she takes in
    the entire world
    through her nose
    i watch
    her practice
    no separation

    By NS on Jun 13, 2010

  58. my heart turns inside out
    the blood
    drains
    out of my face
    when I hear your voice on the phone

    Moving
    Moving

    this is the koan i get wrong
    over and over again
    when i ask you to stay
    when i want you
    not to change.

    By NS on Jun 16, 2010

  59. watching a pbs documentary on the mentally ill
    in state prisons
    with demons ten thousand times the strength of mine
    lock in
    unpadded rooms
    for 30 years,
    alone with them
    jesus christ

    how can I be happy now
    how can I try to attain equanimity knowing
    this now
    hearing screams like that
    hm?

    now I’m going to a yoga class
    I’ve been spared those depths of madness
    poverty, fear, abuse
    now what…

    By nm on Jun 16, 2010

  60. Years ago I read in “The heart of Understanding”
    by Thich Nhat Hanh
    something like
    “when I bow to the altar, I am
    bowing to myself”
    and I thought
    angrily
    this is some feel-good nonsense

    but maybe I see now
    when I bow,
    I am bowing to myself
    I’m am bowing to what is not myself
    I am the whole world bowing
    I’m bowing
    and no part of this world bows
    without my help
    and that’s all there is
    pretty much
    from there I can
    cast off

    If the self that read that passage could see me now
    as I bow
    to “feel-good nonsense”

    By nm on Jun 20, 2010

  61. bicycle clicks from wall rack
    falls, strikes my head and I’m down
    stars
    got the grip, not the spike of the gears
    not the metal pedal claw
    I’m alive
    that was close
    be careful everyone…

    By nm on Jun 20, 2010

  62. talk talk talk, in the library
    I’m sitting right here, ladies, book in hand
    you don’t know I have an exam,
    you don’t even see me
    I appreciate my anger
    for what it is
    roots dissolve

    By nm on Jun 23, 2010

  63. dying
    moment to moment
    is a such graceful
    subtle
    art

    By nm on Jun 27, 2010

  64. my cat went to the vet today
    taken from the lap of luxury, napping on the couch
    poked and prodded
    handled by people he didn’t know
    jabbed with needles
    poor cat

    he came back looking as pretty beat up
    pretty upset with the whole deal
    of being a cat
    its ok, Ginger
    let’s have a bad day together

    By nm on Jul 8, 2010

  65. With my family
    is a good place to discover who I am
    and as my notion of family
    becomes ever more
    and my notion of self….
    well
    I have them to ground me
    as my breath enters my lungs
    my heart opens
    and my hears hear the words of my brother
    father, and mother
    who brought me here
    to this life

    By nm on Jul 9, 2010

  66. I don’t know

    By nm on Jul 9, 2010

  67. The hand that holds the
    yoked oxen,
    unruly and strong,
    becomes tired
    and that tiredness
    fatigues the land the farmer
    tills,
    the heart and mind

    in the gentlest way you know
    let it fall to your side
    farmer?
    let it fall

    By nm on Jul 12, 2010

  68. when I sit
    I sometimes imagine that I am alone
    stupid!
    In new york city
    do I imagine I am alone?
    or in our greatest possible
    opportunity for love, compassion and joy
    to just spread like beautiful static
    zapping along a vast circuit-board
    aching for
    connection
    I know I am
    flowers in season
    bloom together
    don’t Buddhas do the same?

    By nm on Jul 13, 2010

  69. To the Sangha,
    out there in the peaceful
    wide open
    thank you for existing
    and being a place of refuge
    for those willing to open themselves up
    to the possibility of
    a new kind of community
    thank you

    By nm on Jul 13, 2010

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